Saturday, October 19, 2002 :::
 

Please make contact with that old friend you often think about but have lost touch with for whatever reason. I just found out that a good friend of mine from home who I hadnt spoken to in a while just passed away from complications with his diabetes. Evan was a wonderful young man with endless potential. He was so talented & I will always remember him- my Just Jack.

On a ligher note: PUKE IN! NO PUKE IN HEEERE!

::: posted by Jen at 1:24 AM

Wednesday, October 16, 2002 :::
 

I'm kind of stressing & I just need to write out everything I'm doing/need to do so maybe when I see it, it wont look like that much.
Ok: I need to finish my media arts paper for Monday. Then write out a 10 book bibliography for Make-up class w/descriptions of the books. Also, for the same class, I need to finish my "picture morgue" with 10 pics of 8 diff catagories. All due Wednesday. I need to call the crew for the movie & find out their dietary needs & find out the rates on a 17 person (+) van rental for 8 days & weigh the option of that vs. using the available cars & making runs. (side note: when calling about dietary needs, find out if anyone on crew has a car they can use for transpo.) Make my production binder. Get food donated for the shoot: 8 days, 17 people, 3 meals a day. Call/Fax/Go to restaurants. Call people/do lots of shiot for Sigma. Figure out my living arangement. Clean my room, organize my life. Entertain my mom for a weekend. Classes, work, internship, & the rest of the 'uge.
ok I just re-read that & yup, it is a lot. Get me through the next month. Please.

::: posted by Jen at 9:53 PM

Monday, October 14, 2002 :::
 

So my brother lives in D.C. where the snyper activity is going on. There was another shooting tonight- 9 dead, 2 wounded in a Home Depot parking lot 10 miles from his home. They need to catch these fuckers or the fucker whatever. Im a tad worried.

::: posted by Jen at 11:21 PM

 

I have some amazing friends/fabulous people in my life. I love Salem, NH. "Hey, lets go to Grand China so we can see the China people..." riight. Good night, although Rufus was canceled on account of his gay ass having bronchietus. What kind of bull shit is that? Ive missed him 4 times now. Gr. He will be mine, oh yes. He will be mine. Tomorrow I have to write a massive research paper. Wish me luck.

::: posted by Jen at 1:18 AM

Saturday, October 12, 2002 :::
 

I had a really really fucked up dream last night, with several parts. One part, I was on a large ship with a bunch of people, I dont know who. And it started sinking like it was the Titanic. I ran out on deck, looked out to the ocean & started calling people on my cell phone to tell them I was going down. Looking out onto the water I saw a flash of light & an image of the green line T. I was on the phone with someone as I saw it saying how I wished I was on land & in Boston & that I think I just saw it. I called my mom even. Some important papers or letters I was holding flew out of my hand & I just hoped someone I loved would eventually find them somehow. It was scary. But I was strangly calm, not crying or freaking out. Just calm.It was one of those "what would you do/who would you call if you found out you only had a small amount of time left to live." The other part of my dream was, I was living in LA I think. But sharing a room with 3 or 4 other people I currently know (none of whom are actually going to LA)- but someone was in my bed & then he left. I somehow forgot that his ex's best friend was one of the people in my room & she like picked up the phone & called her saying all these horrible things about me- that I manipulated everything & was just waiting for this person to be single, etc. I grabbed the phone & was actually really nice to this person I strongly dislike. It was wierd. I really didnt want her to hate me even though in real life I couldnt give 2 goats asses. Strange. I feel strange. Life has been really wierd lately. Good, but wierd.

::: posted by Jen at 2:38 PM

Tuesday, October 08, 2002 :::
 

OMG IM SEEING RUFUS THIS WEEKEND!!!!! RUFUS WAINWRIGHT IS THE BEST THING EVER!!! YAYAY! IVE MISSED HIM 3 YEARS IN A ROW BUT NOW HE IS MINE! LOVE HIM LOVE HIM LOVE HIM!!!!!

::: posted by Jen at 6:44 PM

 

I cant sleep. Ive been thinking a lot lately. My mind just wont stop. There's someone I miss having in my life but I know I shouldn't miss this person for neumerous reasons relating to my mental & emotional well being. But I miss this person sometimes all the same. Mainly at night when my head wont stop. And I think about all the people leaving next semester & going to LA & then graduating & Im going to be here without them until its my turn to leave. And thats just a lonely thought because I start missing people before theyre even gone. And I realized tonight that it's almost been a year since I've seen my grandmother, my brother & my friends Lindsay & Wade from home. A year- DAMN. I can't even belive the person I was a year ago. If someone had told me the things I would do & feel in this year I would not have believed them at all- it seems so impossible. I kinda just want to get through this semester & enjoy the time I have left with some amazing people. I started thinking tonight about that Friends episode where its Rachel's birthday & she does all the math & figures out that if she wants to know the guy she marries for X amount of time & needs X amount of time to plan the wedding, etc, then she should technically be with the guy she is going to marry. Yeah I was just thinking about that for some reason- I think its just because I ended my teen years & am now officially in my twenties which is so scary. And being 16 seems SO long ago. People come & people go & the good ones stick around. I hope I'm a good one for some people. And I hope everyone I've leant the Perks of Being a Wallflower to has read it or at least started it because it means a lot to me.
On that note, Its late. I should try for sleep again. Im going to see Red Dragon tomorrow. I hope the boy Ive got a crush on goes, even though Im not supposed to have a crush on him. shhhhh.
Love & Etherial Hope- ~Jen

::: posted by Jen at 2:50 AM

Thursday, October 03, 2002 :::
 

Yesterday was my 20th Birthday. It was the most beautiful day of the week- 80's, sunny. Usually on my birthday I hop out of bed thinking "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY" but this year it didn't even come to mind until I checked my voice mail & listend to Nicole singing happy birthday to me- 10/2? 10/2? OMG THATS MY BIRTHDAY- that I rememberd.
The day started out pretty usual. Class, class, work, a few calls from far away friends. That was nice. I didn't have anything special planned for the day. Miles had taken me out for a birthday dinner the night before & the dinner @ Dicks & party are tomorrow. Theres not much you can do on a Wednesday. I knew I wanted to get my tattoo so I arranged that. Made it happen-it hurt but almost in a "hurt so good" way. I love it more than I've loved anything in a long long time. It's such an intense experiance- this guy (who was HOT by the way)- is implanting ink into you that you will have for the rest of your life. It couldnt have come out better. After that I ended up at Jeremy's & then Cutter & Roots. Needless to say, by the time I got home at 1am I was wrecked. It was fab. I checked my email. Got some unexpected ones, & the usual from my mom & brother. Only this year it was different. If anyone wants to know what I got for my birthday: I got the pride of my mother, the admiration of my big brother & immeasuable support from great friends. And those weren't even on my list.
See you all at the party tomorrow. 10:00- BYOB
Love to you all
~Jen

::: posted by Jen at 9:52 PM

Tuesday, October 01, 2002 :::
 

Yeah so today I shot my national commercial for Akemai Technology. WATCH FOR IT! I'm the sexy receptionist w/the hot red lipstick & black funky glasses. It was GREAT! I got upgraded to a lead- so I'm really excited about it- its my 1st commercial! I got the works- hair, makeup, wardrobe. I even had my own personal makeup lady who came & touched me up in between takes. & the FOOD- OMG- catered to the MAX- im talkin salmon & chicken & soup & amazingness. Yay for Boston Casting & double YAY for Element Productions for thinking I rock. LOVE TO U ALL!

::: posted by Jen at 4:25 PM