Tuesday, October 08, 2002 :::
I cant sleep. Ive been thinking a lot lately. My mind just wont stop. There's someone I miss having in my life but I know I shouldn't miss this person for neumerous reasons relating to my mental & emotional well being. But I miss this person sometimes all the same. Mainly at night when my head wont stop. And I think about all the people leaving next semester & going to LA & then graduating & Im going to be here without them until its my turn to leave. And thats just a lonely thought because I start missing people before theyre even gone. And I realized tonight that it's almost been a year since I've seen my grandmother, my brother & my friends Lindsay & Wade from home. A year- DAMN. I can't even belive the person I was a year ago. If someone had told me the things I would do & feel in this year I would not have believed them at all- it seems so impossible. I kinda just want to get through this semester & enjoy the time I have left with some amazing people. I started thinking tonight about that Friends episode where its Rachel's birthday & she does all the math & figures out that if she wants to know the guy she marries for X amount of time & needs X amount of time to plan the wedding, etc, then she should technically be with the guy she is going to marry. Yeah I was just thinking about that for some reason- I think its just because I ended my teen years & am now officially in my twenties which is so scary. And being 16 seems SO long ago. People come & people go & the good ones stick around. I hope I'm a good one for some people. And I hope everyone I've leant the Perks of Being a Wallflower to has read it or at least started it because it means a lot to me.
On that note, Its late. I should try for sleep again. Im going to see Red Dragon tomorrow. I hope the boy Ive got a crush on goes, even though Im not supposed to have a crush on him. shhhhh.
Love & Etherial Hope- ~Jen
::: posted by Jen at 2:50 AM
|
