Saturday, December 06, 2003 :::
14 Days people...14 days until I leave Boston, never to live in New England again. This snow storm is fucking up my weekend- I'm supposed to go edit my video tomorrow in the labs, but depending on how bad it is, the labs might be closed which totally screws me...but I shall get it done.
Also: senior send off was last night-
It's so wierd- 2 years ago I sent someone special off, last year I sent off my best friend- and those two seemed like they were yesterday & at the time my senior send off seemed forever away...if that makes anysense. But its over. It has come and gone, and I will be in L.A. so soon it boggles my mind.
I still don't know whats going on for New Years or even how I'm getting my stuff to Chicago, but I guess everything will be planned within the coming weeks.
I've got so much to do I can't really think about it- I just have to do.
Once I'm in LA I probably won't have consistent internet access until I get settled in the Oakwoods, so I'm going to try to post as much as possible until then.
Hope everyones finals go well!
Love to you all
~J
::: posted by Jen at 1:20 AM
Monday, December 01, 2003 :::
Sporked
I packed up and headed out.
Wind in my short but not too short hair
Distracted by something shiny
at the fork in the road
I took a spork.
So where am I now?
-In the middle of nothing and everything.
Social and professional
Metaphysical and physical
Blood and soul
Yet these are the ties that bond
-These family ties
With a tree so uprooted it cannot be saved,
so dehydrated its uprooted roots break the foundation
So I say- “Go into the light!”
“Head west to better things”
And I go into the light, towards better things
But what are these better things?
And what lies in their dark shadows?
And ambiguity killed the cat.
Stuck in the shady area
no girl should be alone at this time
Stuck in neutral
Rusted steel falls apart on the outside,
and I merely hang on.
Loosing bits of myself inside to retain my polished finish.
Hoping to one day gather up myself
and put together the glossy image I see when I close my eyes at night.
Hell,
My momma was a starfish
My daddy was a lizard
And I am me
With neither ability to reproduce
Nor ability to regroup
I am just me
In the spork of life.
::: posted by Jen at 7:53 PM
Well Thanksgiving has come and gone...just another holiday in the past.
I think I ate my weight in pie. I've got a lot to be thankfull for, but mostly, I need to be thankfull of myself. Because if there's one thing I learned this thanksgiving its that the only person you can count on in this life is yourself.
I was let down by a few people recently- people that I respected and held in high esteem, but you should never place someone on a platform too high, because theyre bound to fall.
My best friend from home who I've known over half of my life is getting married not this summer but next summer- so thats odd. I mean, she's the girl that I played the "wedding game" with- we planned our weddings together in childhood and now the actual thing is going to happen. It was good to see her- we were kids together & now were women- it's just an interesting transition to be able to watch.
I have 18 days left in Boston until I leave to go home, which means theres 29 days till I'm in LA. 8 years of waiting have amounted to this- and I'm not sure what to expect now, all I know is there's this big blank slate in front of me with endless opportunity and I'm more worried about my friendships & family then about my career. I just need to keep reminding myself that we're born alone and we die alone, as negative as it may be. Actually, its not negative, its realistic.
I saw Love, Actually over the break- really cute movie- I liked it a lot, except there were a lot of stereotypes about Americans in it- the president of the U.S. was Billy Bob Thorton, slutty American girls were Shannon Elizabeth & Denise Richards, etc. One story like bothered me a lot : this one woman was in love with her co-worker for over 2 years & he was in love with her & it just didnt happen for them- for a few reasons that I'll leave out incase you reading this should see the movie- it was both frustraiting for me having been in similar positions throught my life- but also eye opening- you dont know whats going on in the other persons life- they may want to be with you just as badly as you want to be with them, but there's just something in the way always preventing it. But, I digress: Hot accents, Good Movie.
When I was home I shot my video project for the web that I'm VERY excited about, I think it's going to be great- I can't wait to edit it & for everyone to see it- I'll let you all know when its done & posted so you can check it out.
I need to do some writing- I keep saying that, damn.
So, I recently finished reading this book "Power, Money, Fame, Sex: A users guide"- very interesting read for anyone interested or even not interested in those things- if you want them it gives you tacktics to get them, & if you don't it educates you in what to watch out for in others actions.
Here's what I want( in this order): Become the 1st high profile casting director, publish a book of poetry, become a movie critic & get my own show, retire & have babies, publish my memoirs. Yup, I think that would be perfect.
AND: the name change should be legal within the next 2 weeks!!!
So thats about it for now, look for new writing at some point..soon...I hope.
Love to you all,
~J
::: posted by Jen at 3:10 PM
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