Friday, September 12, 2003 :::
 

So I've been told a lot in my life that I should remember people when I'm famous. Allow me to elaborate: In FL, I was the person who's friends parents said that they wanted to come vacation in my mansion in LA someday. My mothers co-workers said that they would watch for me on the big screen. And this all made sense to me, since I wanted to be an actress which is a very glamorus profession that thrusts one into the public eye. However, since changing career paths to the more under-appreciated and much less public profession of casting, people still say similar things to me. My advisor told me to remember her when I'm famous because she'll be calling me for work. My boss who is the owner of a prestegious casting company in the city, told me today to remember her when I'm famous & to call her when I'm casting in Boston, etc. And it made me think. Casting is not something that one is generally famous for. So what is it about me, or anyone else for that matter, that people associate with impending fame? I ask this both actually & rhetorically. Its incredibly flattering and a great ego boost to know that others appreciate what I do & can easily visualize me being successful at it, but it's also scary- what if I don't become wildly successful? Will I be dissapointing all those people who saw something in me? Or worse, will I dissapoint myself. It's scary hearing stories from friends who have recently graduated because they all seem to be telling me the same thing, "STAY IN SCHOOL- STAY AWAY FROM THE REAL WORLD"- everyones either having a hard time finding work or adjusting to life, or both, & even though I've had a plan for as long as I can remember, I'm starting to worry about that happening to me. Although I know myself, & I know that it won't, its disheartening to hear so many people I know & care for go through such difficult times & warn me of what I am soon to experiance. But I've got a plan & a vision for my future plus the support of friends, family, & co-workers, & buckets of self confidence, so I guess thats one leg up on whatever difficulties get thrown at me in the not-so-distant future.
I'll keep you all posted on my crazy mind spasms as my last semster in Boston continues....
~Jen

::: posted by Jen at 10:59 PM

Tuesday, September 09, 2003 :::
 

Some lessons:
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learnd that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot & steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades & there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that heros are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend & I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when youre down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesnt give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just becuase someone doesnt love you the way you want them to doesnt mean they dont love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiances you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays youve celebrated.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you arent related to can take care of you & love you & teach you to trust people again. Families aren't always biological.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, theyre going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesnt stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue doesnt mean they dont love eachother. And just because they don't argue, it doesnt mean that they do.
I've learned that we dont have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that you shouldnt be so eager to find out a secret.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who dont even know you.

::: posted by Jen at 8:23 PM

Thursday, September 04, 2003 :::
 

"Back to school. Back to school. To prove that I am not a fool."
Hey all,
Well, my senior year is about to begin. I'm living alone in the most amazing studio ever, & I'm super excited for classes to start. I've got a few snags to clean up - an incomplete on my transcript that I completed, & a project to turn in from last spring so I can get a grade change, other then that things are pretty much in order. I'll just be happy if I can get through the rest of my time in Boston without having to get a restraining order for some psycos I used to associate with, but if I have to, so be it. The name change process must commence soon. I'm just rockin out in my last semester. Not taking life too seriously but still working hard & working a lot. I've got classes, my job, the internship, Greek Council & my sorority to juggle this semester but it shouldnt be too overbaring. Not much else is new....I chopped off my hair. It's cute but its definatly taking some getting used to- short bob- shorter in the back longer in the front w/sharp angles & layers- very different from what I'm used to. Nothing too exciting to report, just continuing on.
Love to you all.
~Jen
P.S. I promise to make entrys more often. Call it my "back-to-school-resolution."

::: posted by Jen at 9:56 PM