Tuesday, May 03, 2005 :::
Underestimated
Women are underestimated everyday
and it makes me laugh
Men think they're on top,
Hard & Strong
when I can control any man by wearing a low-cut shirt
and talking about sex,
soft and gentile like
Helen of Troy, the thought of fucking her started a war-
-Literally.
Wars, once started out of love & passion
now out of oil & religion,
And we're running out of oil
Fast & Strong
and our children will be fucked-
-Literally.
And it clouds my vision to the point where I almost don't want to have any.
But if you were to ask my ex, he'd disagree,
Never interested in fighting for me...
but then again, my name's not Helen.
He fucked me in every way a person can be fucked-
-Literally.
Hard & Fast.
Soft & Quiet.
Through the center of my brain clouding my vision to the point where I'm still writing about it years later.
And my friends would say, Leave it alone.
Because nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good can come of it.
Except me coming one last time from the feeling of him filling the inside of me
Hard & Fast
Soft & Gentile
Through the center of my brain,
To the point where I haven't found love since him,
like a blind man fingering a bright room
for a light switch
because he can't believe his eyes.
But 20million viewers can't be wrong
& I want to be right
all the time
Which is my problem.
I'd rather be miserable & right
then happy & wrong
But most of the world feels that way,
or at least they must
when murder is a song.
Movies say death is but a window
and we all keep look, look, lookin for the light,
Thinking it will seep in under the blinds & slowly fill the room with its soft glow,
When really it comes
Hard & Fast
if it comes at all,
through the center of my brain clouding my vision with the haze of a nap that lasted an hour too long.
Causing the thought: I know it's eight but is that day or night? Fuck, I shouldn't have slept so long,
Nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good can come of it.
If it comes at all,
But I always do, slightly easy
and always on time.
Even though my timing in love may be off,
I am always on time
Even when it's to see an old friend who's fucked me over,
without the fun part.
And the only thing worse then a friendship based on old memories
is knowing that you would still do anything for that person
Even though you know better,
Because nothing good can come of it.
And it becomes the same old friendship
to the soundtrack of some new indie rock and the same old jokes.
But the new music doesn't make me think anything new
and the old jokes still make me laugh
At least on the inside.
I'm always laughing on the inside
So at least I can say
I got there first.
Like a kid slipping in the cafeteria and laughing at himself before the bullies can.
Because if anyone catches embarasement in your eyes,
nothing good can come of it.
And my eyes give me away all the time.
Which is my problem.
When men know I'm in love with them before I'm ready to admit it to myself.
It's written in my batting eyes of blue & gold
And not even salty tears can wash it away
Like highlighter under a black light glowing
love drips from the tips of my eyelashes for all to see,
Soft & Wet
And nothing good can come of it.
I'd have to build a glass house in the ocean
to hide my emotions,
Fragile & Vulnerable,
you break it you bought it
you'd better wipe your feet before coming into my house
But you'd better believe I'll break your back
If I get you into my bed where
the sun seeps in under the blinds
And throws dots of light onto my
ironically white sheets
Like an insect infested
yet chlorine clean pool
And the sun seeps in through the palms
& throws dots of light onto the Barbie & Ken sized waves and
ironically Barbie & Ken have broken up
Quiet & Fast
through the center of my brain clouding my vision
because Barbie & Ken were supposed to make it
And if they can't then how the fuck can I, & I don't even own
a pink corvette or dream house.
Hell, my prized posessions are a 7yr. old computer that barely runs and a vibrator that always gets me off.
But nothing good can come of it
Except an unemotional fulfillment
from an inanimate object.
Hard & Fast
Soft & Gentile or however I want it.
And every woman I know who doesn't own one, wants one.
Especially after talking to me.
But don't get me started because
I'll go off about the fact that the most exciting mail I got today was another $5 coupon from Bed Bath & Beyond.
And I'll go off about
old boyfriends & napping.
And I'll go off about
getting off
And nothing good can come of it
Nothing good can come of it
Nothing good can come of it.
Although I wish I could go off about
politics or religion
Which in my opinion have become one in the same
But I only know how to write about
love & sex.
::: posted by Jen at 8:40 PM
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