Monday, July 26, 2004 :::
New poem people!! It's actually meant to be performed aloud, but I think you'll get the point. If you want a live performance just say the word!
Choices
Choices
Are all I’m surrounded by lately
And these choices they’re making me
Realize what life is, these choices
Paths
Foggy and congested highways from A to Z
From where I am now
To who I could be
This path I’ve taken
This business I’m in
In this city of lights and glamour
And sex and cameras
And this is my def poetry jam
Only living in New York I could never stand
Who could I become in this year
Of half of my lucky number
In Two-thousand-and-four
GIVE ME MORE!
Two-thousand-and-four
OPEN THE DOOR!
But in two-thousand-and-four I’m fuckin’ poor.
And an education is expensive if I want to heal those like my mother and my brother with chemical imbalance, bad tempers and bi polar disorders
An education is expensive if I want to teach the written word to youngsters with wide eyes and stories of their own written in the trails of their own cries
and time is more expensive if I waste it
These choices are poisons
crippling my beliefs and
questioning my doubts and certainties
But “options” is the word of the year
I tell myself whenever something makes me think too much about my own potential
Choices locked behind my past credentials
So I focus on a crush that is aptly named just that
And crucify myself for feminists
By wearing different hats
Slut
Bitch
Lover
Girlfriend
Mother
When all I really want is someone else to belong to
My Nana telling me to find a nice Jew
And share a home
And have babies
And a career
Job
Occupation
Titillation
Mental perspiration
The choice between myself and a family
Hammers me
Nails me to my bed which I toss and turn on each night
Unable to sleep because my mind won’t stop
And I’m starting to wonder what pill I could pop
Thinking of different choices I haven’t chosen but just might
When I really
Simply
Just
Want it all
To publish
teach
share
heal
learn
create
manage
sell
love
raise
cultivate
and decide.
::: posted by Jen at 3:33 AM
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