Monday, July 12, 2004 :::
I've been figuring out myself a lot lately so needless to say I've been really feeling like writing so I'm gonna just write & see what comes out...
I'm difficult to get to know
Well.
Better at saying what kind of person I am
than actually showing it
and letting another figure me out along the way.
A glutton for life,
I go after all that is bad for me:
Fast food
Fast men
I
Fear rejection
try too hard
laugh too loud
But I am aware
of all that I say & do.
And I know a wrong decision when it's wrong.
But I get a lot right too.
I've been lucky in life.
Bad at gambling, but lucky in life.
Experianced some great loves and life affirming friendships.
I'm close with my family.
I can say "fuck you" to my mother in a joking manner.
My brother considers me his best friend.
I love my nana & she sends me money to buy "beer & peanut butter & jelly sandwiches" and she always "keeps her fingers crossed & her legs open" for me.
Fun, I live life with an open heart & mind.
I'm optomistic and immediatly drawn to anything shiny or cute.
Not often serious, but when I am, watch out.
I hate confrontation or arguments unless I love them.
I'm a hypocrite.
I people watch & talk trash, but I wonder what they're saying about me.
I have my obsessions,
pet peeves,
favorite movies & songs that stop time,
Crushes, ex's,
flings, desires,
and still searching for that one great kiss.
I put too much importance on having a huge career
but I'm finding now that I just want to be happy durring the day
and have someone to cuddle with at night.
Someone who will know me
the me behind the me I'm writing now
And who will listen to me sing
and want to travel
and try new food
and be lazy and adventurous all at the same time.
And truely know me well.
And to truely know me well you have to read my poetry.
~J
::: posted by Jen at 2:11 AM
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