Friday, June 06, 2003 :::
Ok, so I've missed a few weeks or so. I've been busy, kiss my white ghetto ass. Here's what I've been up to: The semester ended without my Final Media Production project being done. Stress like no other. Thankfully, my best friend arrived shortly thereafter for graduation. Graduation was wierd for me- as so many of my friends were walking, it felt like it should have been me- like the speakers were talking to me but they weren't I've got another year left of my college career.- this school is going to be a different place next year.
I've also been working a hell of a lot- between Barnes & Noble, Boston Casting, & other casting gigs I manage to aquire through various resources. The most recent I've done are: The Real World (thanks Megs), The Apprenctice (The New NBC reality show w/Donald Trump), and the new David Mamet film. Also, my mom was in town for a week which made my blending of work & social life a bit more complicated, but lots of shopping was done & my 2nd stress of the summer was quelled: I now have an apartment!! (If you know anyone that wants to buy a bed or desk, let me know. ) I love my mom & she's good to me, I just need my space sometimes & I don't think she understands that I can do things for myself, or maybe its just that she's so used to doing things for me I sometimes stil let her. I just need my private time, & that's hard to get when your mom is staying with you for a week.
I read a book which every girl reading this should: The Go-Girl Guide to Your 20's. It's really great. I thought it would be kitchy, but it had some amazing information in it & it was written quite well. After reading that it inspired me to get: The Everything After College Book: Real World Advice for Surviving and Thriving on Your Own, and Smart Women Finish Rich, because once I get a job out of school, I'm planning on being VERY smart with my money, so I'm reading up on personal finance.I've been thinking a lot about my career, the fact that I even have one- and how much I love it. It's really amazing. Yay for 30% off all books! Let's see, let's see....oh! I did finally finish that media project, about 2 days ago. But it's done & its good I figured out Final Cut & I'm a pretty decent editer if I do say so myself. So on another note, one of my best friend's is leaving Boston soon, & it makes me so sad. Mrs. White, in the kitchen, with the keg. But she & her boy will be in LA (or close enough), so when I fly out for New Years Festivities, it will be a fabulous reunion. Now, I'm going to take a risk here & say something even though I'm not sure who reads this, but I'm pretty sure that the person this is about doesn't read it: There is someone I love very very much who I feel no longer needs me in their life. And I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to do nothing for now. And just continue to remind them that I love them & I'm here, and if things don't change come January (once I've made my move)- then I just might have to broach the subject with the person here mentioned.
Other then that, I get the feeling this summer is going to fly by. My brother & his new girlf. are going to be visiting me in July, and I am super excited about my new apartment & classes starting. 6 months till LA! & 4 months till I'm 21!!!!! I'd like to end with an email I recieved recently which kinda sums up where I am right now in my life. I'm a bitch- so be it.
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a "BITCH".
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a "BITCH".
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way,
they call me a "BITCH".
Being a "BITCH" means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I
live my life my way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When
I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a
"BITCH".
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I
truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I should
be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every
ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a "BITCH", so be it. I embrace the title and am
proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself
...........and..........
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
...........and..........
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
::: posted by Jen at 3:44 PM
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