Wednesday, July 10, 2002 :::
Note to self #1. Cut back on inside jokes/personal references in blog. It must be making people who arent mentioned feel excluded.
Note to self #2. Write more about what I'm actually doing with myself these days.
-What am I doing with myself these days, you ask??? Well, I quit Ben & Jerry's because it was ice cream hell- where I got paid shit money to do manual labor, hurt my wrist & my back & get fat off of junk food the one day a week they actually scheduled me. So, I said: Take this job & shove it!
To make up for the small amount of money I will be missing out on, I've picked up a substancial amount of hours at the Emerson Channel, which at least gives me my nights & weekends free to par-tay. Oh, who am I kidding?- all I do is sit on this computer & check my email, try to think of witty or inspirational things to write here, & chat incessently on AIM. I think its a bad thing that at some small scale party's I've been to lately, I've left early for whatever main reason (tired, drunk, etc)- but with the thought in the back of my head "Ooooh, I could be home & in my bed & online right now..." Yeah, I think thats a bad thing.
I've also realized that I've been playing Psychiatrist Jen with a good chunk of my friends lately, & I like it. It makes me feel important & flattered, actually, that friends choose to come to me with their problems. I guess it's just the neurotic, obsessive, sexually frustrated, good ole head Ive got on my shoulders. That, or I'm a sucker for anyone in need. I'm just one of those people who will be in the air if you say "Jump" before you even answer the question of: "How high?" I GIVE & I GIVE WITHOUT TAKING.....man, too bad my name's not Mandy. {OK ENOUGH WITH THE INSIDE JOKES! JEEBUS!}- sorry, just a little 4th of July Barry Manilow reference."I'd Barry his Manilow" Oh I never even talked about the 4th here, did I?- Well, I went out on the Charles w/a group of buddies.(Nikki,Jeremy, Dave,Paul,Geoffrey,Nikki's friend Michelle...i think that's everyone)- Well,we sat in the perfect spot: right in front of the TV monitor & in the center of the fireworks barge-thingy. It was absolutly amazing. Fireworks are one of the only things that really make me feel like a little girl. In the beginning of the event, about 5 (I think)- fighter piolets flew overhead & it kinda choked me up for a moment in that patriotic, pride, danger they put themselves in-thinking-of -their-families-&-kids-&-wives-at-home- sort of way. Which is odd for me, because I rarely cry, & I'm a little less then patriotic- I kinda want to be British- just a spot. But it was extreemly moving all the same.
And I think about whats going on in the world & what kind of world it will be for my children to grow up in, and I hope they dont have to be afraid of terrorist warnings like we do. I hope the world is a better place by then.
On another note: Have you ever felt like your heart was going to explode? If so, how did you stop it? Or did you?-& what happened when it finally did explode? Because I think mine's gone crazy, & I dont know what to do about it at all. Im out of practice, & like I've said, I have issues with crying, but I think my heart is leaking into my tearducts or something & they all explode sometimes. But, I know who/what the cause is, & I really dont mind so much at all.
I'm a little wired tonight from a long & FAH-HABULOUS nap today, so I just needed this long-winded creative romp in the land of Blog before heading off to the land of Nod.
"I like twinkies. And I say this, because we're all supposed to think of reasons to live."- The Perks of Being a Wallflower- READ IT!!! & while you're at it, buy me a new copy, wouldja? Because mines still missing.Goodnight & Love to you all. ~Jen
::: posted by Jen at 2:16 AM
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