Friday, March 22, 2002 :::
Here's a song I wrote last year for someone who I loved for too long. This person is no longer in my life, but the song has been in my head lately, so I thought I'd share it here:
"We're out of link, I'm crazy for believing. Fresh out of ink, moved on but I'm still thinking. You've got a new Bic, well, I'm still licking our tip. And I'm gone & you're there. Thick distance through air. And we're friends & it's cool, Bickered all through school. Of the few that I miss, You were my first kiss. And I'm still crying over you. And I'm still not over us. And when you say you miss me, It means more. And when you say you love me, My heart soars. And I'm still, not over you yet. And it burns & it churns in my head at night. And I cry & I scream even in my dreams. And I'm still crying over you & I'm still not over us. Did I miss the bus?-Or jump the plane before home? Well, I'm not in lust, My sign says 'Heart & Soul or Bust' I'm waiting at the stand, Needing more then just your hand. And when you say you need a friend. It means so much more in my head. And if you swear you love me, Then why aren't you in my bed? Did you jump ahead? Leaving me behind. Was I supposed to die? Crawl away & smile? 'No, that's ok. We were always just friends, anyway.' And when you're not there, I get too scared. I get mad I get sad I feel all alone. Go insane out of frame & I cry & I scream even in my dreams. And I'm still crying over you. And I'm still crying over stills of you. And I'm still, not over us. Don't ball me up. Or try to throw me away. I'm not like the rest. I just won't fade that easy. And don't group me, 'Cause we're on a different key. And don't groap me, If it doesn't mean a thing. I'm no joke, I'm no toy. Like easy girls & foolish boys. So I try & I think I'm fresh out of ink. So I lick & I scratch my own damn back. And I leave on my own, Run away from home. And you're gone & I'm here, Thick distance through air. And when I say I love you, I mean it more. And when I say I miss you, Memories soar. And I'm still crying over you, And I'm still crying over stills of you, And I'm still not over us."
I don't love this person anymore, which is hard to say. In fact, I hardly talk to him. He was my best friend, but people change & sometimes you forget why you loved someone to begin with. I will, however, never forget what I learned through our friendship: That you don't have to be IN LOVE with someone to love them. You don't have to be IN LOVE with someone for them to be your soul mate. You don't have to end up with that person for them to have made an impact in your life, because from every person you meet, you make a decision, whether concious or not, as to what you do or do not want or need in another person, thus becoming that much more whole on your own. So thank you for the tears. They've helped me become the woman I am.
::: posted by Jen at 5:13 PM
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