Monday, February 25, 2002 :::
I just kidna wrote this: not sure where it came from-I just got a knot in my stomach & this is what came of it:
Everynight I wait for your name to appear
Just to hear the news of your lonliness
And compare it to mine.
I'm lonely here in this drafty castle
Brick walls built thick by some king or duke centuries ago
to keep out riots & such I suppose.
Brick walls built thick to bar in the lonely nights with fantastical ideas.
Is it me or the idea of me you're stuck on?
The idea of a princess in general-some courtizan
waiting to bow down for your desire
or the real me?
The one scared to admit exactly what it is I'm afraid of-
And there's a lot.
No clowns or ghosts haunt my dreams (those are seen enough in the streets of London and in halls of my own haunting grounds)-
But rather, dreams of the future out of my hands.
Job+Kids+Love+Travel=Future in some random order
Love is a random order
under the desciples of passion & lust
and masked by truth & actions.
Living the great life I lead is hard when lonely & afraid.
But its a great life.
I also wait for you, & You, & YOU,
to hear stories of the life I will return to
and of loved ones living the amazing lives destined for them
because your great luck was set from your creation, and you know that.
Because sometimes life is just good. Fuck the 5 degrees of happiness, fuck the barn
& the hay & the bridge.
{Zippo's & Goats are what its really all about ;) }
For now I am simply the feather floating along the breeze that will one day be weighed
against my actions upon entrance to eternity-
when all issues such as those mentioned above will appear meaningless.
I am happy & that is enough for me....
~Jen
::: posted by Jen at 5:13 PM
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