Thursday, October 09, 2003 :::
 

I promise to write new poetry soon. That is as much a promise to myself as it is to all of you.

I just keep thinking about how quickly college has gone by. I feel like I've really had the full college experiance- and now I'm about to begin the full life experiance. While it's scary, I'm getting more confident every day about my abilities and career opportunities available to me. I've been thinking a lot about going into agent training after college if there arent any great positions available for casting, so we'll see where the journey takes me. Agents to have a lot of money & power, & those are 2 of my fave. things, however they lack the creative aspect that casting has. Yeah thats just been on my mind lately.

Also, it seems like I dont know anyone at this school anymore. Most of my good friends are in LA (with the exception of LJ, Katie & my sisters), so it's odd. I think friendships are beginning to be tested & it will be really interesting to see who I actually hang out with when I'm out there. Maybe I'm just in a paranoid mood this evening. I've starting not trusting people, which I didn't even realize until I just typed it.

I'm just lonely I guess. Not lonely for friends because even though Emerson is overrun with freshman (or so it seems)- I've still got great friends in Boston. I'm just lonely for companionship. Empty crushes abound. Empty fantasies plague me at night, & I've had trouble sleeping lately as a result- & some odd dreams too.
But yeah I think thats about it. Nothing too exciting, just working, learning, interning, checking one thing off of my To Do list at a time..still need to change my name...gonna do that at some point in the next 2 weeks...
Sidenote: It's interesting how time can make you see someone in a new light- and how fast time goes.
I think that about does it for tonight. Tune in next week as our heroine saves the day with her hotter then life partners Danny Masterson & Jon Stewart....

and now I'm delusional.

Good night

::: posted by Jen at 1:35 AM

Tuesday, October 07, 2003 :::
 

So I definatly saw my elementary school *love* today....went to high school with him too, havent seen him since graduation & he comes waltzing into my store tonight! I was like WTF!- Freaked out on the inside.
Got the new Rufus CD- why is he me? That's what I really want to know- I swear he always manages to write what I'm feeling, or maybe it's just that I relate to him, yeah it's probably the latter of those two. I've missed him in concert 4 times, but he will be mine, oh yes, he will be mine. & I will meet him & turn his gay ass straight.- or at least become his BFF.
"If a person should ever like a person, how funny that would be. If a person should ever like me. Not that I have that much to offer. God knows I have so much to gain...If a person should ever like a person, then a person should be free. Free to like whomever that they want to. Even though it ain't me. "

::: posted by Jen at 2:29 AM

Saturday, October 04, 2003 :::
 

I am now 21. An old woman, I know, I know. The pressure is off & now plans do not need to be rearranged because I can't get in somewhere. I no longer have to stress about handing someone a fake or play the "I left my I.D. at home! Oh No!"- card.
For my birthday I got the love of my brother, the pride of my mother & the respect of my friends. As well as a penis cake, Moses, & tickets to see one of my fave bands. This semester is moving along well, classes are good- I feel like I'm learning a lot but the work load isnt overbearing. I just crossed new sisters. Being the pledge master was incredibly difficult but very rewarding. I applied to be an R.A. in L.A., hopefully I'll get it. I've been having random dreams about random people lately- and I just cant wait to be in L.A. - its not much longer now...I think thats about it. Yeah I've also been deveoping random crushes on people that I know can amount to nothing considering my time here is coming to a close, but whatever. Life is good.

::: posted by Jen at 5:50 PM